I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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