he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
