I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
