I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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