Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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