I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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