i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
