I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
