I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize