You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
