After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
