she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sext me about skeletons
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
