OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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