So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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