Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
