I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
