and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
