i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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