i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
