we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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