Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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