Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
