scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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