I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
