i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
