Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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