Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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