Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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