I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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