sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
