If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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