I love black thongs
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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