I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
birth control should be required to get into college
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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