Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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