Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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