I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
