one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize