I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize