It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
