why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize