don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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