Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
