babies were throwing up all over the place
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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