Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
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We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
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One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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