allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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