I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i will never coherently bang her
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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