he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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