Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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