We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Farmville is her only friend.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
