You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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