i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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