I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize