Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
