I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
