You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
