please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
When are your genitals available?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
