This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I am one with the molecules
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
