It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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