At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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