Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
