oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
