mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
