I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
