If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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