There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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