We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize
