You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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