dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
